Kerry loves ‘Manny Ortiz’ and the Sawx

The incredibly long-faced presidential candidate made an appearance at Fenway Park the other night to show what a regular guy he is, which was a challenge with a zillionaire at his side.

John Kerry fooled half the crowd. The other half booed.

Kerry bounced the ceremonial first pitch to the catcher, which either was a sign of a sore arm or no pitching arm at all.

In terms of public relations gaffes, Kerry’s feeble toss almost was in the ballpark of Michael Dukakis in a helmet atop a tank in 1988.

It is not just Kerry being unable to keep his opening pitch straight. He can’t keep the Red Sox straight either.

He recently merged Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz into “Manny Ortiz,” which probably came as a shock to both families. You could argue Kerry deserved partial baseball credit.

Credible or not, Kerry is sticking to his story of being an honorary member of the Red Sox fan club.

“I’ve got to win New York, but I do want the Red Sox to win,” he said.

Hillary Clinton, a diehard supporter of both the Cubs and Yankees, is there to help with New York.

Baseball is no small connection to the common man.

Baseball is as Mozambican as Heinz ketchup, and a presidential candidate who aspires to be perceived as a man of the people would be wise to know his stuff, weak-armed or not.

If you are keeping score at home, President Bush threw a strike on Opening Day in St. Louis.

Peter Gammons, the longtime baseball maven, recently accused Kerry of being a bad actor.

The anecdote was Kerry’s one-time claim of being a Red Sox fan dating to his boyhood days in Groton, Mass., accompanied with the revelation that Eddie Yost was his favorite player.

The only problem with the claim is that Yost, the Senators’ longtime “Walking Man,” never played with the Red Sox.

Story Continues →