“Yes. I did light my cookbook on fire. It was the ‘Joy of Cooking.’ Put it down on the burner by mistake, turned away and bingo. Smoke alarms went off big time,” Angelina said.
She kept the volume, however, branded forever by its torrid encounter, now doomed to peek out from the top of the refrigerator like a lost icon.
There are some kitchen disasters involving living things. A gentleman friend recalled that he served his family a perfectly cooked and seasoned bouquet of fresh broccoli — which included a giant green hornworm, also perfectly cooked and seasoned, lurching out of the side of it. All present screamed.
Yet kitchen disasters are also cultural moments that gauge the mettle of all cooks, be they Angelina, standing at the ground zero of curry destruction, or professional chefs of every persuasion. Among those who have offered disaster counsel to the hapless, hopeless and maybe even tasteless; Julia Child, Rachael Ray, Emeril Lagasse and the entire cast of the Food Network’s “Iron Chef.”
Yet there can never be too many recountings of such things. The cooking mavens of yore — Fannie Farmer or Irma Rombauer — instructed earnest young brides to correct over-salted soup by adding potato slices, or to turn that fallen cake into a trifle and be done with it. Time and kitchen timers tick on, though. The 2005 book “Don’t Try This at Home: Culinary Catastrophes from the World’s Greatest Chefs” showcases the pros’ mishaps with eels, food processors, chocolate ganache, pheasant and one another.
“Food is fast becoming entertainment, so it’s only natural that it follow in the footsteps of sports and show business and offer a collection of bloopers,” noted Publisher’s Weekly at the time.
Yes, well. Let us salute our kitchen disasters and be done with them. And, uh, don’t forget to curry some favor in the meantime.
Jennifer Harper covers media, politics and perfectly seasoned hornworms for The Washington Times’ national desk. Reach her at jharper@washingtontimes.com or 202/636-3085.
By Douglas Holtz-Eakin
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