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Hillary and Bill Clinton (Associated Press)

The 'Old and Relentless': The Clinton soap opera continues

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the longest-running Southern Gothic soap opera in American history! It is a mix of "Days of Our Lives," "Dr. Phil," "The Sopranos," "Oprah" and "Judge Judy" all rolled into one, long, endless saga called "The Clintons -- a Tale of Naked Ambition, Unquenchable Libido, Towering Greed and Their Desperation to be a Part of Every American's Life as Long as We Live."

Liberals' petri dish laid bare in Baltimore

All the mayhem unfolding in Baltimore is nothing short of an unspeakable American tragedy. Laid bare are the failures of cradle-to-grave social policies held so dear by politicians in both parties, but embraced and celebrated most lustily by Democrats.

A man carries items from a store as police vehicles burn, Monday, April 27, 2015, after the funeral of Freddie Gray in Baltimore. Gray died from spinal injuries about a week after he was arrested and transported in a Baltimore Police Department van. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

From Star-Spangled Banner to free toilet paper

With such steady, just and hopeful leadership from President Obama and his recently departed attorney general, Eric H. Holder Jr., is it any wonder that peace, love, patriotism and tranquility reign across the land with such fervor?

The U.S. Capitol is kept largely out of reach from American taxpayers.

Washington bureaucrats gone wild rival spring break revelers

It's that time of year when college kids in flip-flops hit the sandy beaches of cheesy Mexican resorts and party till the break of dawn, shimmying and jiggling and drinking florescent tequila shots from unknown belly buttons. Here in your nation's capital, it is really no different.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker laughs as he is introduced prior to his speech at Chatham House in central London, Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2015. Walker is leading a coalition of Wisconsin government and business officials on a trade mission in the UK that runs until Friday, Feb. 13, 2015. The trip gives him a chance to bolster his overseas and foreign policy credentials as he considers running for US President in 2016. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)

Evolution and allegiance to the Church of Global Warming

It is such a high, blessed relief to finally get to the bottom of the most pressing issue here in this age of $17 trillion U.S. debt, barbaric animals burning humans alive in cages, the systematic rounding up, rape and mutilation of young girls around the world and all these inconvenient blizzards and bone-chilling winds blowing giant holes in our faith in the newly founded Church of Global Warming.

Cuomo

Mario Cuomo was not a total liar, and that's saying something

In all the stirring eulogies and remembrances leading up to the funeral of former New York Governor Mario Cuomo last week, his greatest contribution to American politics went entirely unheralded. All the fawning tributes and tearful, pearl-clutching accolades have failed to include the one single thing about Mario Cuomo that will forever set him far apart from all the rest of the politicians of his ilk.