- The Washington Times - Saturday, January 31, 2004

Have you noticed most girls these days lose their expectations of that “knight in shining armor” fantasy by the time they reach 16? They’re completely jaded by their twenties of the apparent delusion that a guy would actually “wait” for them specifically. Most guys by the time they reach college have no concept of what true love is and act upon what they’re nature and society tells them, further propagating the foundationless relationships our youth forge into adulthood. And some people wonder why half of marriages don’t last? One need only look to America’s teens and young adults to see the manifestations of the selfishness, lust, and jealousy that’s most prevalent in today’s crumbling marriages. We have no concept of purity for the sake of love and the American virgin is becoming an endangered species that nobody cares about.

The experiences of this 24 year old “purposeful” virgin acclimated me to the barrage of temptations and carnal inclinations America’s youth face 24/7. By “purposeful” I mean one who doesn’t choose abstinence out of drone-like religious obligations, following the “rules” out of rote. Also, I’m not referring to those that test the limits of selfish lust, seeing how far they can go without having intercourse. True virginity is so much more than technicalities. Yet we’ve seem to lost any semblance of understanding what it means to be so in love with someone that one’s pre-emptive actions would reflect an uncompromising love for that someone they’ve yet to meet. And though the allure of sexual relations before marriage is rampant today, especially in the college years, maybe a scattered few have managed to survive unscathed. Make no mistake though; bearing the title “virgin” brings with it no reputable social standing and little clout among contemporaries. But though a virgin may not be admired communally, there are many that respect inwardly. Virginity manifests unsaid qualities such as selflessness, self-control, and a pure romanticism so foreign today yet so attractive to every human heart albeit race, gender, class, or creed.

President Bush has a social gold mine in his initiative to increase funds for abstinence programs. The American virgin could be America’s bright future. They have the power to stop the spread of AIDS, stop the spread of STD ‘s, reduce abortion, reduce teenage pregnancy, and indirectly reduce divorce. I doubt you’d find any American opposed to that guaranteed progress, yet the government spends very little money to further the pure ideals and practical advantages of abstinence till marriage. It’s like we’ve passed off such principles as fairy tales; complete ignis fatuus. Maybe lawmakers have become so indifferent to sexual purity that they can’t fathom it’s insurgence into an even more emotionally apathetic American youth. It’s not popular, it’s not pleasurable, and it’s not easy; so why would a teenager, or anyone for that matter, be attracted to it? But when was the last time something good and true was popular and easy to obtain? Just look at the price paid for freedom in Iraq, or for our own 228 years ago? The main attraction of virginity isn’t so much its pragmatic consequences, though beneficial, but down deep we’re more drawn to the fulfilling intangibles it provides like true love, trust, and soulful satisfaction. Virginity provides one with a means to confront lustful desires, which no doubt are predominant during youth, and make a choice whether they want to live for themselves now or for someone else later. Shouldn’t a potential future wife or husband be seen as an honor, a blessing, and an individual worth more than anything, especially worth enough to “wait”? To develop a friendship and ensuing romantic relationship with that person based in humility, honesty, depth, patience, and kindness aside from any egotistical sexual inhibitions getting in the way is everything we honestly desire. When these laudable qualities fuse together into a marital relationship can you imagine the concluding ecstasy within the sexual relationship?! No wonder married couples consistently rate higher than unmarried ones in sexual fulfillment polls! A sexual relationship devoid of the deep intimacy only found in marriage is empty the morning after. The worst part is seeing America lose all hope of restitution. Instead of forgoing insecurities, that we try to numb with superficial relationships, we hold on to them. It becomes an itch we can never completely scratch though. It tears us apart and the notion of a knight in shining armor or a fair maiden to serve is relegated to Disney cartoons and storybook fantasies.

To ask my peers to comprehend, and act in light of, the rewards of abstinence in their emotionally and hormonally developing years may be a pipe dream today. The bombardment we receive from media, collegiate environments, and social circles may be too much to overcome even with billions in funding. Maybe there’s no restoration plan for this endangered species. Maybe the American virgin is slowly going the way of the buffalo. Maybe they’re already extinct.


Vienna, Va

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