- - Friday, February 13, 2015

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

Yoga pants are under attack. Lately, they have been a hot topic on Facebook, blogs and other corners of the web. Some say they are too tight. Others complain that we, as a society, have lost all sense of modesty. The question has been posed: Should women wear yoga pants in public?

For one state legislator in Montana, the struggle against yoga pants is real.

No. Seriously.

From the Billings Gazette:

“A Montana legislative panel moved to kill an indecent exposure bill Wednesday after the lawmaker who introduced it said he thinks yoga pants should be illegal. Members of the House Judiciary Committee voted unanimously to table House Bill 365, which Rep. David Moore introduced Tuesday. The proposal would have expanded the definition of indecent exposure to include garments that give the appearance of a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvis or female nipple.”

“The Republican from Missoula said he wouldn’t have a problem with people being arrested for wearing such provocative clothing such as tight-fitting beige garments. Moore also said yoga pants should be illegal…Currently, a person convicted of indecent exposure three times in Montana can be sentenced to life in jail and up to $10,000.”

Yes, you read that right.

If you are convicted for indecent exposure three times in Montana, it is legally possible that you could spend the rest of your life in prison. And this yahoo of a state rep, who apparently can’t find other pressing issues to deal with in Montana, is fine with ladies getting locked up for life for wearing yoga pants.

I can just imagine that conversation at a women’s prison in Montana. In Rep. Moore’s utopia, it would go something like this:

“What are you in for Janet?”

“I murdered my boyfriend. You?”

“Oh, I got rolled by the PoPo for wearing yoga pants outside a Walmart. Looks like I’m staring at 20 years to life. At least I look good on PeopleOfWalmart.com, though. First world problems.”

How would Montana even enforce such a law? Would they have a real life “Fashion Police” patrolling the malls and supermarkets of Butte, Montana, looking for soccer moms whose pants are deemed too tight?

Can you imagine the type of person who would apply for that job? I’m thinking the resume pool would be a mix of folks like Charlie Sheen and the character Quagmire from Family Guy.

Giggity.

Thankfully, cooler heads in the Montana Legislature prevailed and this bill will not see the light of day. Attempting to legislate modesty is at best, folly. As Kemberlee Kaye pointed out at Legal Insurrection:

“Sadly the continued banning of clothing like yoga pants for the sake of ‘modesty’ only serves to reinforce the rather antiquated and negative stereotype that women are responsible for the behavior of men. All the while, giving men (or in these cases, high school boys) an opportunity to sidestep personal accountability.”

I submit that modesty stereotypes are only one part of a broader problem. Elected officials on a local, state, and national level are too eager to write unnecessary laws, enabling the ever-increasing nanny state to become even more powerful.

And can we stop calling these people “lawmakers?” It gives them the false sense that they should be involved in writing laws, every day. They are elected to represent us, not impose their fashion sense on the citizenry.

Politicians like Mr. Moore represent what is wrong with the country. Because of busybodies like him, police are cracking down on other “public menaces,” like children running lemonade stands, high school kids throwing charity car washes, and teenage entrepreneurs shoveling snow out of their neighbor’s driveway.

No, there shouldn’t be a law.

And ladies, I fully support your right to wear yoga pants anywhere you want. See, chivalry is not dead.

Fingers Malloy hosts “The Snark Factor” radio program on FTR Radio.


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