BOCA GRANDE, FLORIDA | There is so much to love about President Trump that it is hard to settle on the single greatest thing about the 45th president.
His name is not “Hillary Clinton,” has to be in the top 10 best things about him. Nor is his name “John Kasich.” Even better.
His scathing disdain for Republicans in Washington was surpassed only by his abhorrence of Democrats in Washington. His joyful willingness to make a complete mockery of everything the political establishment holds dear is pretty sweet, too.
There is not a classier tweeter in the history of electricity. That’s got to be pretty high up there, too.
Press wags clutch their pearls in horror every time the great presidential thumbs get to tweeting. The press stooges gasp over his use of social media for shameless self-promotion.
Seriously, guys? You are scolding someone else for using Twitter for shameless self-promotion?
These people really are communists. They hate competition. Same reason it’s against the law to steal. The government hates competition, too.
And never sell Mr. Trump short for his selflessness and modesty. You think Mr. Trump really likes all this attention and adoration? All the slavish devotion from all the people who work for him?
Of course not! But it’s the presidency of the United States we are talking here. We finally have a guy who is restoring the dignity of the office by demanding the respect it deserves.
Both here at home and abroad.
One recent tally found that Mr. Trump was complimented during a Cabinet meeting once every 12 seconds for three minutes straight.
Saddam Hussein could not conjure up that kind of love — and he ran a totalitarian thugocracy.
Same abroad. Perhaps my favorite moment so far of the Trump presidency was when our president found himself at some sort of G-12 or G-8 or G-something meeting of global poobahs where U.S. presidents of late find themselves bowing and scraping for pathetic approval from world leaders by blowing billions of your money on that Three Card Monte heist called “global warming.”
A picture was about to be taken and Mr. Trump found himself in the back of the back, loitering on the back row. With selfless disregard for his own comfort or safety, Mr. Trump sprang through the crowd — pushing all the lesser leaders aside — until the President of the United States was squarely front and center. Where the leader of the free world belongs.
I guess if I had to pick one single thing that I love most about Donald Trump, it’s that — unlike all the rest — is Mr. Trump is not a Throne Sniffer.
Take his predecessor, President Obama. There was not a king, queen, lord, tyrant or jester that Mr. Obama would not bow to.
I have even heard — though I cannot verify this personally — that Secret Service had to remove the large potted ferns from the White House because Mr. Obama could not stop bowing to them and offering them the codes to our nuclear arsenal.
So it came as little surprise that Mr. Obama — the king of all Throne Sniffers — was cozying up to Little Prince Harry of Great Britain for some silly glam interview.
I mean, seriously, the guy is, like, fifth in line to the throne. That’s like lower than David Shulkin in the United States. What, you don’t know who David Shulkin is? Exactly.
As Mr. Trump might tweet, “Sad!”
Anyway, big controversy now over whether Prince Harry — the guy who will never be king — will invite President Trump or ex-President Obama to his stupid royal wedding. I could just hear Mr. Obama now begging the little red-headed Smurf for an invite.
And I’ll bet you anything the little Fifth to the Throne won’t invite Mr. Trump. That royal Throne Sniffer doesn’t want any competition when it comes time to take pictures.
• Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter @charleshurt.