At the end of all the scandal and drama, all of the breathlessly reported lies and false accusations, at the end of all the money wasted on some zany kabuki swamp dance choreographed to the thrumming of giant bullfrogs and yipping of excited coyotes — at the end of all of this — it comes down to precisely what we said it was a year and a half ago.
President Trump stunned the whole world and scandalized the American political class last year by announcing that he was not lying during the campaign when he promised to move the American Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem.
Perhaps the Iran agreement would not be so easy to tear up had it not been written out on wet toilet paper to begin with. Had it been an actual treaty, President Trump would not be able to do this.
Once again, America finds John McCain heroically fighting for his life, this time against cancer. Perhaps inspired by such heroism, John Kerry has dusted off his old turncoat from his French closet and is turning traitor against the United States again.
How long does it take for a good man -- a farmer from Big Sandy, Montana -- to become thoroughly corrupted by the lies and evil ways of Washington? Less than two terms in the U.S. Senate, it turns out.
"We're gonna win so much," then-candidate Donald Trump advised supporters, "you may even get tired of winning."
Call it a pole-dancing standoff between the Siren Stripper and the Leakin' Lyin' Nasty Giraffe, code-named "Slimeball" by the highest levels of the United States government.
Every single one of these people in Congress expressing shock and condemnation over Facebook's sale of persuasion power to political entities already knew exactly what Facebook has been up to for years. Because each and every one of them has used those very tactics to get elected.
All the breathless palace intrigue and tireless Washington rubbernecking is coming from a bunch of people whose only prayer in life is to see Mr. Trump fail.
The T-shirt industry has been making a killing off American children for decades now. But I always felt like the industry was missing a big winner: "I survived bad parenting."
Only in Washington would it be a scandal for the government to ask a person who wants to be represented in Congress if they are an actual U.S. citizen.
First they tried to beat him at the polls. They lost miserably. Then they unleashed America's most powerful and penetrating espionage apparatus against him at the height of the presidential campaign. And got caught red-handed.
So this is the new standard for electing a president here in America, the greatest living experiment in self-governance.
It is the truest form of injustice. Singular evil. Blind hatred.
If brokering peace on the Korean Peninsula is just a diversionary tactic to draw attention away from Stormy Daniels, then somebody please get this president six more porn stars.
Hope Hicks has more integrity and is far more honest than any of the lying politicians on the House "intelligence" committee who grilled her for nine hours this week about whether she has ever lied on behalf of her boss, the president of the United States.
Hope Hicks has more integrity and is far more honest than any of the lying politicians on the House "Intelligence" Committee who grilled her for nine hours this week about whether she has ever lied on behalf of her boss, the president of the United States.
Never before has such an unspeakable American tragedy been so quickly and shamelessly politicized for petty partisan gain.
Once again, it is the dangerous lie of "See something, say something."
Once again, it is the dangerous lie of "See something, say something."
