Just when you thought it impossible for this crazy carnival ride world to become more insane, somebody hits the “ludicrous” switch. As my friend’s mother would say: “Can somebody stop the world and let me off?”
You have lying politicians, crazed health officials, and the leader of the free world who doesn’t know where he is and last week confessed on national television that he has mommy issues with former President Barack Obama. Or maybe it was daddy issues with Donald Trump. It was — as is usually the case with President Biden — confusing.
These are the times when the world turns to sporting endeavors for escape. They are supposed to be a dollop of true human achievement that inspire us.
Let’s go now to Tokyo for an update from the world boxing Olympic championship — oh wait, the match has been halted. There is a protest.
French super heavyweight boxing phenom Mourad Aliev is sitting ringside on the canvas, refusing to leave. He is protesting.
But you have to give the guy credit for honesty. He did not claim to protest some arcane point of social justice. He was not demanding better pronouns. He was not insisting that he be allowed to beat up women in the ring.
He was angry because he lost a fight. After being disqualified in the second round for intentionally head-butting his British opponent, the Frog was tossed from his pond. He was mad. So, he sat down and refused to leave.
Really quite delightful. And, at least, honest.
Not so honest are the reigning politicians in Washington, D.C.
A group of loudmouths called “The Squad” took up their own little insurrection on the steps of the U.S. Capitol.
Rep. Cori Bush, Missouri Democrat, camped out on the steps of the Capitol to protest having to pay rent. She squatted in one of those cheap collapsable chairs you get from Wal-Mart to sit in during little league baseball games. Fellow squatters piled sleeping bags, bedrolls and pillows on the steps behind her.
Trust me when I tell you: If you did this, you would be arrested and thrown in jail. And if you did this in support of President Trump, you would rot in jail, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would whip up a hot “9/11-style commission” to hold circus hearings into your little “insurrection.”
But these squatters protesting rent belong to Mrs. Pelosi. They are actually protesting themselves. The squatting Squad of insurrectionists are all Democrats — the very same Democrats who control the White House and both chambers of Congress.
This is what is now known as pulling a Gwen Berry — protesting the very power you have chosen to represent. Somebody should make up T-shirts that read, “Don’t tread on you,” with a rattlesnake biting itself.
Or, “Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did I kill today?”
They are truly rebels without a clue.
Which perhaps should come as little surprise, given their leader. Mr. Biden was caught on a hot mic last week boasting how he once drove an 18-wheeler. Perhaps that was the qualification Mr. Biden’s son, Hunter, used to get his lucrative seat on the board of the Ukrainian gas company.
The White House later tried to clarify that it was actually a school bus Mr. Biden drove.
After confusing a school bus for an 18-wheeler, Mr. Biden took a trip down memory lane to the good ole days “during the so-called Great Recession” of 2009 when Mr. Obama tasked Mr. Biden with managing the economy. Only, instead of saying “President Obama,” he said “President Trump.”
Realizing he would be in trouble for screwing up again, Mr. Biden immediately stammered: “Excuse me, Freudian slip.”
Thankfully, Mr. Biden did not elaborate on whether it was Mr. Obama or Mr. Trump he wished to sleep with, nor which one he wished to murder. But we could make an educated guess.
In any event, Mr. Biden’s handlers must be vigilant to not leave our commander-in-chief unattended around any rusty spoons lest he completes his Oedipal complex by performing a self-enucleation. Sadly, in this classic case of elder abuse, it is becoming increasingly clear that Mr. Biden’s sitters are not caring for him.
Last Friday, Mr. Biden was placed in front of a camera for some babbling screen time when someone noticed Mr. Biden had something plastered to his chin. A staffer scrawled out a note and passed it to the leader of the free world.
“Sir — there is something on your chin,” read the note in bold, black magic marker.
Mr. Biden, apparently feeling peckish, peeled off whatever was on his chin and gobbled it down.
At the very least, they should be feeding him more.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at the Washington Times.