On Wednesday, President Biden traveled to Scranton, Pennsylvania, to sell his doomed “human infrastructure” bill, which smells more like an un-showered Green New Deal and quacks like another welfare boondoggle.
“The cost of the Build Back Better bill in terms of adding to the deficit is zero, zero, zero,” he lied, lied, lied. “Because we’re going to pay for it all.”
Well, yes, you better believe we are going to pay for it. Just not in the way Mr. Biden claims. This bill is “paid for” — just like every other dime of the $28 trillion in debt these dirty louts have racked up in your name over the past several decades.
While in Scranton, Mr. Biden ambled down memory lane. And ambled and ambled and ambled.
Old stuttering nicknames. Family lore. Uncles in the kitchen. Grandmas and laced doilies at the dining room table. All fairly incomprehensible. He did manage to invoke just about every person in his family who ever died — just because that is what Joe Biden does when his chips are down.
And he talked about how much he loves the federal government’s disastrous and irrelevant Amtrak rail system. Again, not exactly what you would call “confidence-inspiring” if you are trying to sell a federal “infrastructure” bill.
“I commuted every single day for 36 years as vice president of the United States after my wife and daughter were killed. I went home to see my family. Never stopped.”
To be fair, it was one of Joe Biden’s best speeches of his presidency. Certainly among his least dishonest. And definitely not plagiarized.
Thirty-six years as vice president. That is the same kind of enthusiastic math that gets you to “zero, zero, zero.”
As we have noted before, the Biden administration is an aging, faded rock band that lost its lead singer.
White House spokesgal Jen Psaki, and all the rest of them are lobotomized zombies left over from the Obama administration. They are lost, out of tune, popped guitar strings, searching for their swamp god.
This reminds me of a joke. What is worse than waking up in bed next to Willie Nelson?
Realizing it’s not Willie Nelson.
How exactly does this apply to the current political situation? Well, for all these wandering Obama zombies, they all went to bed with Barack Obama — only to wake up and realize they had actually spent the night with Joe Biden. And his diaper came loose in the bed.
So now they are fumbling around, desperate to reignite the old magic of Hope and Change.
Ms. Psaki steps to the White House press lectern — a gentle crowd if there ever was one — and tries out a few lines of comedy. Anything to get that old spark back.
She tries cracking funny about the tens of thousands of children who have been illegally smuggled across the Southern border under the Biden administration because, for some reason, she did not want to admit that the administration is flying the children all over the country “in the middle of the night.”
But don’t make a joke about Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg taking two months’ paternity leave during the worst transportation crisis since Jimmy Carter’s gas lines!
Of the supply chain crisis, Ms. Psaki found more comedy material. In apparent mirth, she dismissed it as the “tragedy of the treadmill” — which is both unfunny and incomprehensible. At least she does an accurate job of capturing Joe Biden’s “thinking.”
Anyway, Ms. Psaki also dismissed the notion that the federal government is responsible for the collapsed supply chain.
“We are not the Postal Service,” she sniffed. Except, you are! Dimwit. And you run the post office about as brilliantly as you run Amtrak.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at the Washington Times.