OPINION:
A year ago this month, two obscure corporate executives, both legally married to others, were suddenly and reluctantly made infamous when the KissCam at a Coldplay concert caught them in each other’s arms.
The two — Andy Byron, CEO of software company Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the firm’s chief people officer — soon resigned.
Ms. Cabot says she’s received hostile phone calls and messages, mostly from women who “cut each other down.” She has been giving interviews and making progress restoring her reputation.
Mr. Byron, by contrast, has been in a humiliating seclusion. As the Swiss media giant Blue Entertainment explains: “The web has spoken its verdict. Astronomer CEO Andy Byron is an adulterer. His punishment: social media stoning.”
However, it’s not hard to envision some of the factors that might have led Mr. Byron to Ms. Cabot. She better than anyone could likely understand the special pressures and demands he faced as their company’s CEO.
Nor is it difficult to imagine how his career might have affected his wife and his marriage. As Mr. Byron climbed the corporate ladder, there probably were missed back-to-school nights and soccer practices. Date nights were likely interrupted by important business calls; the relaxing Sunday brunch he promised was probably ruined because he had to run into the office to deal with a crisis.
Mr. Byron may have felt that his wife should have been grateful that, by working hard and sacrificing, he had provided her and their children with an upscale lifestyle. But maybe her gratitude was dimmed by the feeling that she was married to a man who, even when not working, was still working.
Of course, an affair is not the way to deal with marital problems. Mr. Byron, in addition to being remarkably unlucky, brought some of his troubles on himself.
When I worked in the divorce field, I heard the details of hundreds of failed marriages. But ’Wife good, husband bad’ is a mulish caricature of marriage, ignoring the often complicated interplay between spouses.
If the keyboard mob had taken a moment to reflect before getting a rope for Mr. Byron, it might have seen in his actions some similarities to their own relationships.
GLENN SACKS
Los Angeles, California
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