As Father’s Day approaches, how to parent with faith

OPINION:

Father’s Day can make men feel like they are being graded.

For those who grew up without a strong father figure, the pressure to break the cycle runs even deeper. For those who had a great dad, there is pressure to measure up.

I want to say something to every father reading this: The goal is not perfection. The responsibility of a dad cannot be overstated, yet the standard God holds us to is not flawlessness. It is faithfulness.

There is more to being a husband than being married, and certainly more to being a dad than fathering a child. This calling is so critical that we are told in 1 Timothy 5:8, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Those are sobering words, but God would not hold us accountable for something he had not equipped us for.

Look at what God said about Abraham in Genesis 18:18-19. He did not choose Abraham for what Abraham had already done; he chose him because he knew that Abraham would command his children and his household after him, and they would keep the way of the Lord.

God’s confidence in Abraham was not rooted in Abraham’s resume, but rather in his resolve to pass along the faith. That is the foundation of a father’s dynasty: a generational legacy of men who do not let the faith die on their watch.

Scripture gives us a clear picture in Genesis 27 of how we can practice this in our lives, as Isaac calls his son close and prepares to bless him. In that story, three things stand out to me as the secrets to blessing your children.

The first is meaningful touch. Hug and kiss your children. That may sound simple, but we live in a world where fathers are often emotionally absent even when they are physically present. Isaac drew his son near to hold him. Jesus gathered children into his arms.

Physical presence communicates what words sometimes cannot: You are safe, you are wanted, you are mine. Never underestimate the power of a father’s embrace.

The second is to speak blessings. Blessing means to attach words of high value to a person. A father’s words carry extraordinary weight, for good or for harm. Too many sons and daughters grow up having never heard their father say, “I’m proud of you” or “I love you.” That silence leaves a wound that follows people for decades.

Yet when a father speaks the value God has placed on a child, something powerful unfolds in the child’s heart.

Finally, fathers must take active roles in their children’s lives. Every child is wired differently, with unique gifts waiting to be recognized by Dad. Even when you are running on empty, that is a privilege worth showing up for. It is your job to nurture, encourage and provide for your children, preparing them for their future and for eternity.

Most important, when a father prays, it is like putting a spiritual roof over his family’s heads. Prayer is not just a private spiritual exercise; it is also structural. It is protective. When a father prays over his home, he is doing something in the spirit that no government or amount of money can replicate. He is saying to the enemy, “Not this house.”

Our modern culture now tells fathers that their presence is optional or that their role is interchangeable. Yet Scripture makes clear that that is a lie. The connection point for every Christian home is still this: “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

That is not a passive declaration. It is a decision a man makes and then backs up every single day.

Father’s Day is not about celebrating perfection. It is a reminder of your commitment to serve your family and raise your children in the way of the Lord. The legacy you leave your children will not be measured in dollars or achievements. It will be measured by whether they knew without a shadow of a doubt that their father saw them, loved them and pointed them toward their heavenly Father.

Every father has a dynasty to build. Even if you feel like you have fallen short of these goals, it is never too late to change course. Start today.

• Jentezen Franklin is the senior pastor of Free Chapel and a New York Times bestselling author. His television program is broadcast on major networks worldwide.