- - Monday, August 29, 2011


Only a soulless bureaucratic punk would authorize or advocate shutting down a kid’s sidewalk lemonade stand. And a normal, thinking, reasoning human being would be incapable of such a callous, power-abusing act of indecency. But in America today, the abject, heartbreaking reality is that such subhumans not only exist - they now infest our government like an evil pod of nonthinking death-row criminals. God help us all.

That’s exactly what is happening all across America. From Maryland to Wisconsin, kids are being harassed for not having business licenses, vendor permits, food permits and who knows what other goofy government forms or assorted bureaucrat-gone-mad paperwork.

This is more evidence of what is wrong in America. Instead of harassing kids for having a sidewalk lemonade stand, these kids should be rewarded for showing initiative. Their pictures should be in the local paper. Local business groups should write these kids letters encouraging them to pursue their interest in private business.

Regardless of threats or even fines, parents should demand their kids set up lemonade stands. If the cops show up, instruct your child to not take down their stand, but rather rally the neighborhood to erect dozens of them. If fined, refuse to pay it. In fact, don’t even show up in court. Ignore this bureaucratic idiocy while making a spectacle out of it. Do a Rosa Parks on them.

If parents don’t want to put up with insane legal hassle from the little-kid-lemonade-stand-bureaucrat-goon squad, they should instruct their kids to give away their lemonade, Kool-Aid or water for free, but have a donation bucket at the stand where consumers can drop in their change and dollars.

Kids selling lemonade in front of their homes pose zero risk to local restaurants. If any restaurant owner is dumb enough to criticize little kids selling lemonade, that restaurant should be boycotted. Moreover, if any elected official is dumb enough to support harassing and fining little kids, a special election should be held to vote that clown out of office.

There is no safety risk associated with kids selling lemonade in front of their homes. I doubt even Big Sis over at the Department Store of Homeland Security - aka Janet Napolitano - is worried about terrorists posing as American children setting up a lemonade stand and lacing their unlicensed drinks with poison.

Harassing kids for setting up a lemonade stand in front of their homes is the perfect example of modern-day government run amok. If any local official such as a city councilman or mayor in America had any brains, he would make a public statement that all kids are welcome and encouraged to set up lemonade stands in their towns. The official would then encourage the people of the community to stop and support these little kids at every opportunity. Just a thought.

Capitalism and those interested in it should always be rewarded and encouraged, including little kids selling lemonade or Kool-Aid on their street. Only a bureaucratic punk would dare think otherwise. Bureaucratic punks should be permanently banned.

American business is drowning in burdensome and senseless regulations and requirements. In order to reduce anti-business and entrenched job-killing policies and regulations, President Obama recently ordered all government agencies to write a plan on how to reduce regulatory red tape. The jury is out on whether this will reduce the heavy foot of Fedzilla that is standing on the throats on America’s small-business owners.

Maybe the first thing Mr. Obama should do as proof that he is serious about reducing goony government regulations on business owners is to get his teleprompter gang to set up a statement for him to read that indicates he supports kids who sell lemonade.

Then he should visit Texas, witness how Gov. Rick Perry does it, stop at the first neighborhood lemonade stand he sees and give the young entrepreneur a buck or two to stimulate the economy. Just sayin’.

Ted Nugent is an American rock ‘n’ roll, sporting and political activist icon. He is the author of “Ted, White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto” and “God, Guns & Rock ‘N’ Roll” (Regnery Publishing).



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