- The Washington Times - Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Spiderboy is promising to reveal the real O.J. Simpson to America, which perhaps explains why he expects to be sued by the one-time airport-terminal sprinter.

Simpson has spent the last 12 years in hot pursuit of the golf-playing “real killers,” while trying to rehabilitate his image as a double murderer.

The latter was left to the public relations devices of Spiderboy, which raises an obvious question:

Why would you entrust your ultra-serious image problems to someone who goes by the name of Spiderboy?

Batman — maybe. Superman — OK. But Spiderboy?

Anyway, a portion of the nearly 80-hour product is out, and Spiderboy, like any artist, is awaiting a verdict from the American public.

Verdict is an apt word, too, for Spiderboy asks the public to view his raw footage of Simpson before opting to cast a vote on his guilt or innocence in the double murder.

What a marvelous idea — another poll?

Simpson granted Spiderboy all kinds of access from 2001 to 2005, and Spiderboy trained a camera on his client and appears to have come up with the sort of footage you would expect from someone named Spiderboy.

The first snippets are not flattering.

Of course, to be fair to Spiderboy, there probably is not a lot anyone could do to improve the image of Simpson.

People made up their minds on him long ago, and the best he could do is perhaps move from pariah to gregarious pariah, from the most likely killer of his estranged wife and Ronald Goldman to the friendly killer-next-door type.

Simpson could take up in the wilds of Africa with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and pose in front of the downtrodden with tears of compassion streaming down his face, and it would not improve his lot in life in a persuasive manner.

Now if he stole Jolie from Pitt, as Jolie stole Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, perhaps that would help his Q Score. He possibly would get a new acting gig out of it.

Barring an affair with Jolie, Simpson is destined to be what he is, Spiderboy notwithstanding.

This lowbrow entertainment form can be viewed at judgeoj.com, which taps into America’s base instincts.

Spiderboy sees a high purpose in his venture, however absurd the premise is.

Here he has captured the real Simpson on film, he says, and you the viewer can make your own determination without crafty lawyers intruding on your thought process. It is free, too.

Spiderboy would have you believe he is a social scientist of sorts, except he is planning to write a book on his adventures with Simpson.

The Web site is mere marketing to hype a book he has titled, “Promoting a Nightmare.”

The book will be his potential pay-off. For now, he offers no opinion on Simpson. He clearly does not want to taint the voting process.

There also is another verdict in this venture.

It seems Spiderboy is guilty of duping Simpson.

Not that anyone should be feeling Simpson’s pain.

Spiderboy is not dumping nearly 80 hours’ worth of unedited film on the Internet to rehabilitate Simpson’s image.

If he truly were trying to boost the fallen one, he would have edited the film and cast Simpson in the most favorable light possible.

Spiderboy is even conceited enough to think his footage allows someone to make an educated guess on Simpson’s guilt or innocence, which is ludicrous.

There are plenty of boors who never go up on double-murder charges.

All kinds of people behave inappropriately and say all kinds of inappropriate things, and it means nothing more than that.

Simpson said what about Oprah? Yep, he is a double murderer.

Spiderboy should be hoping he makes a penny or two out of this project.

It is doubtful he will land another person so desperate.

You can be fairly certain Mel Gibson has not gone to his handlers and said, “Get me Spiderboy.”

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