- The Washington Times - Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Stephanie Green, who composed the questions.

I’m known as a “brainy beauty.” In addition to being one of the world’s most celebrated supermodels, I also was valedictorian of my high school class - but a really stupid thing happened right under my nose.

My nanny took a picture of my daughter bound and gagged while the two of them were playing cops and robbers. The photo ended up in someone else’s hands, and now he’s trying to extort money from me. The authorities are going to bust him, but I can’t seem to forgive myself.

How could this have happened to my family?

- Cindy Crawford

Dear Cindy,

Though motherhood is the most important of all the professions, requiring more knowledge than any other department in human affairs, there was no attention given to preparation for this office.

- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I just walked out on my very popular show on CNN. I developed quite a following on the network thanks to my populist image and healthy disdain for government, but I also ticked off a lot of people, namely Hispanics, due to my tough stand on immigration.

It has been suggested that I get into politics, but I don’t know if I would find the same level of success in that arena as I did being a tough-talking pundit. What do you think?

- Lou Dobbs

Dear Lou,

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

- Will Rogers

I‘ve had enough. I gave Kim Kardashian her start. She was my wing girl, always at my side at all those fabulous parties. How does she repay me? By becoming just as famous as me! She has her own reality show, magazine covers and promotional appearances.

Just wait, though. I am one-upping her by debuting my new hair and skin care line this week. Let’s see if she can copycat that.

- Paris Hilton

Dear Paris,

The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause.

- Baltasar Gracian

• Stephanie Green can be reached at sgreen@washingtontimes.com.

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