- - Thursday, June 26, 2014

Poor little politicians! They’re all “dead broke,” as Hillary Clinton put it. She says her $100 million fortune is peanuts, “unlike a lot of people who are truly well-off, not to name names.”

Man, it’s a good thing she didn’t name names, and shame those high-rolling jerks out of a good night’s sleep! Of course, I’ll bet if she did name names, she wouldn’t have named anyone who contributes a lot of money to her political ambitions. It’s OK to be rich if you support the right causes, and donate to the right people!

Her daughter, Chelsea, managed to survive her childhood of grinding poverty by learning not to worry about money. “I was curious if I could care about it on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t,” said Chelsea. “That wasn’t the metric of success I wanted in my life.”

You can hardly see the scars from her harrowing ordeal of fighting to survive in a $10 million apartment she moved into after her $3 million wedding, struggling to make ends meet on a $600,000 per year pittance she earned at a job with NBC News, where slave-driver executives forced her to produce two segments over the past year, the last one airing four months ago. I hope her “metric of success” isn’t on-air time!

But it’s not just the Clintons who are suffering. Vice President Joe Biden wants you to know that he’s one false move away from the poor house, too. Here’s the house where he lives now, when he’s not in Washington:

“Don’t hold it against me that I don’t own a single stock or bond,” Biden told the White House Working Families Summit to show them what a down-on-his-luck, blue-collar Joe he really is. “I have no savings account, but I got a great pension and I got a good salary. For real.”

Poor Joe is so dazed from his constant struggle to put food on the table that he just plain forgot that he does have a savings account, plus 11 different investment funds. His net worth has been estimated at less than a million dollars, which actually does make him pretty hard-scrabble by Washington standards, if you don’t count all the perks he gets from being vice president.

The government itself is constantly pleading poverty, too. Every time We, the People make demands of them, bureaucrats turn out their pockets, and there’s nothing but lint and a couple of moths.

Border security? Sorry, need more money for that.

IRS record-keeping? No can do, citizen. The IRS commissioner testified before Congress that his agency needs more funding if we expect them to meet the same transparency standards they impose on U.S.

They’ll also need more money for Obamacare, and food stamps, and the Department of Veterans Affairs, where fat bonuses get paid to administrators while returning soldiers are put on secret waiting lists to die.

When sequestration spending cuts went into effect, the poor government had to shut down air traffic control towers and release illegal aliens from holding facilities, because there was not a single penny of flab anywhere in a budget that’s pushing $4 trillion. Don’t even THINK about asking for a tax cut, my friends. You’ll hear every Big Government Democrat in the land howl in unison that Uncle Sam can’t possibly afford to give you one.

Washington, D.C., is now one of the richest zip codes per capita in the United States, but somehow everyone is dead broke. But we’re supposed to trust them with even more power over our lives, because they know best which companies should get financial support, how much everyone should get paid, and how much everyone should be allowed to keep.

Don’t be a sucker and fall for their lies. I don’t care how much money you have made honestly. I care far more about how you treat the public with your dishonesty.

Agree or disagree, your comments are welcome. And until our next briefing, this is The Rusty Humphries Rebellion.

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