- The Washington Times - Thursday, December 31, 2020

Because He is a just and loving God, God gave us Alex and Hilaria Baldwin.

That is “Hilaria” with a silent Spanish “H.” It is a name, the root of which also gives us the wonderful word “hilarious.” Because — how do you say it in English? — the English language is a just and loving language.

All of the madness and lunacy of this snake-bit year of 2020 has suddenly proven entirely worth it.

Hilaria Baldwin — again, you stupid Gringoes, silent “H” — has spectacularly exposed herself as an ethnic fraud. And in the process, her angry, tubby hubby Alex — known in college as “Alexander” — has lost the magical invisible cloak he used to protect himself from charges of being a vile, nasty racist with severe anger management issues who once trashed his own daughter as a “pig.”

A “rude, thoughtless little pig,” to be precise. Because, according to the voice mail he left for her when she was 11 years old, she had “humiliated” him.

See, for people like Alex Baldwin, everything is always all about them. For him, his own 11-year-old child is just a figurine — a prop — in a great play starring himself. It’s why “social media” was invented for deluded, angry people like Alex Baldwin.

Oh, the rage.

Just another “angry, white male,” you might say. An “angry, white male” with a history of spewing hateful venom at persons of color and women — namely his own teen-aged daughter.

Mr. Baldwin has also shared his vitriolic temper with police officers and flight attendants.

In the War on Women, Alex Baldwin is a field general. To him, Black Lives Don’t Matter.

Remember the time he went on a white-hot tirade at a photographer from The New York Post? Called him a “coon.” Perhaps he mistook the photographer for Virginia’s blackface governor, King Ralph Northam, whose nickname in college was “coonman.”

There is no evidence, however, that King Northam ever took his minstrel show on the road up North.

What sewers do these sick people come from to lecture the rest of us about morals and justice?

Alex Baldwin is such a powder keg of rage that the woman who exposed his wife for her elaborate racial extortion scheme has gone into hiding for fear, according to one reliable publication, that the “actor” might “punch” her.

Understandably, Mr. Baldwin‘s fame-digger wife strives mightily to keep in shape — even as she has delivered five more unlucky children into Alex Baldwin‘s sick orbit. She is a deathless yoga exhibitionist on Twitter and Instagram.

Turns out, she is more than just a physical contortionist. She is a racial contortionist, as well.

For years, she has faked a Spanish accent, claiming to be a person of color born in Mallorca. In one brilliant clip from national television, Hilaria openly struggles in her fake accent with the English word for — “how do you say?” — cucumber. [INSERT THREE CRYING EMOJIS HERE.]

All of it is a giant, massive lie. Turns out she is a “white girl” from a privileged upbringing in Boston. Her name is actually “Hillary.” Her parents are insufferably white people. One is a medical doctor. The other is a corporate lawyer.

No wonder “Hilaria” was reduced to stolen ethnic valor. But this is America where personal reinvention is always possible. Encouraged and celebrated — even if you have to lie about it.

The only real villain here is Alex Baldwin, himself. He could have reinvented himself by simply becoming a less horrible person. Instead he decided to hide behind his “Spanish” wife.

During his non-apology “apology” tour after calling the photographer a “coon,” Mr. Baldwin went on David Letterman’s show to prove he is not racist.

Sitting there, he went out of his way to tell a charming story about his wife, “Hilaria,” and breaks into his own fake accent in order to imitate his wife’s fake accent.

“I don’t mean to be racist when I put that accent on,” he tells Mr. Letterman. “My wife is from Spain.”

The only thing more pathetic than stolen ethnic valor is hiding behind someone else’s stolen ethnic valor in order to clean up your own racist behavior.

But, on the bright side, at least somebody in the Baldwin family is a halfway decent actor.

• Charles Hurt is opinion editor of The Washington Times. He can be reached at churt@washingtontimes.com or @charleshurt3 on Parler.

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