Twitter is a sewer.
And as much as we like not to think about the back end of our plumbing system, it has become an integral part of our civilization. It sure beats racing through the yard on a cold night, trying to wiggle out of a scratchy union suit just to use the spider-infested outhouse in the pitch-black dark.
Of course, Twitter is not nearly as useful as a functioning indoor toilet. But it serves a purpose.
If nothing else, it keeps some of America’s most ridiculous, delusional people occupied. If Alexander S. Vindman were not on Twitter, for instance, he would probably be out among the serious people doing real damage.
Yes, Twitter is a sewer. But it is also a babysitter for ridiculous people — especially ridiculous people in the media, Hollywood and government. Unfortunately, Twitter has also become a satellite office used by the FBI to punish American citizens and corrupt American elections.
And they told you to worry about the Russians?
Hilariously, there are some otherwise-serious, patriotic Americans who have mastered Twitter. Donald Trump is one of them.
Mr. Trump so brilliantly hijacked Twitter and beat all the ridiculous people at their own game that he used the platform to get himself elected president. The Twitter geniuses had never even thought of that. And then, because he got elected president, he made Twitter far more popular and serious than it was ever intended to be.
This humiliated all the screaming weenies who run Twitter. So they had no choice but to kick Mr. Trump out of their silly little Twitter club.
Another otherwise-serious person who mastered Twitter is Elon Musk. He manufactures nifty electric vehicles and launches rocket ships into outer space. And, even sneakier, he gets the federal government to pay for it all. Smart guy.
Anyway, he was really good at Twitter. Then he got all riled up and started hectoring Twitter employees for being so dull and slow and for allowing American spy agencies to run the place and shut down free speech.
He got so carried away that he wound up accidentally buying the whole company for an amount he will never recover — unless he figures out how to get the federal government to reimburse him for it. Don’t count him out. Like I said, smart guy. And very sneaky.
Meantime, Mr. Musk decides to sprinkle a little sanity dust all over his new social media platform since he can’t give it back.
In a shocking departure from company policy, Mr. Musk now allows free speech on Twitter.
Then he exposed the massive scheme in which Twitter invited FBI officials to use the social media platform to rig the 2020 election in order to remove Mr. Trump from office. Facebook did the same thing, but Mr. Musk has not bought that company. Not yet, anyway.
Blowing the whistle on this corrupt scam involving the FBI triggered Mr. Vindman, who is famous only for being a government official who failed to remove Mr. Trump from office through an impeachment scam. So, Mr. Vindman went after Mr. Musk over the weekend.
“.@Twitter is dying. That’s okay. If anything it needs to be killed off soonest. @elonmusk cannot be allowed to promote dangerous radical views … hate speech,” he seethed on Twitter. “Imagine Goebbles with a bigger platform and wider reach.”
Who talks like this? In public? Government officials in the so-called “intelligence” business, apparently.
Yes, according to this rotund Ukrainian turncoat, Mr. Musk‘s allowing free speech on Twitter is the equivalent of Joseph Goebbels’ campaign to kill 6 million Jews in gas chambers during World War II.
In Mr. Vindman’s twisted world, freedom of expression is “hate speech.” Opposing opinions are “dangerous radical views.” Anything Mr. Vindman disagrees with must be “killed off soonest.”
This is how federal officials like Mr. Vindman talk in public. Who is Joseph Goebbels in this situation?
Perhaps another good thing about Twitter. In addition to babysitting angry losers like Mr. Vindman, it also exposes them for who they really are.
Godspeed, Mr. Musk. Just don’t stick the bill to the innocent American taxpayer.
* Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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