OPINION:
Marriage is the bedrock of a society, but what happens when America’s young people delay marriage or shift their perspectives on child rearing?
It seems our society is about to find out, as survey data shows that Generation Z — those born between 1999 and 2015 — holds views that have led them to deviate from past generations when it comes to marriage and family.
From a 30,000-foot view, people are now waiting longer to get married. In fact, the average age of Americans’ first marriage has ticked up eight years since the 1950s, now standing at age 30 for men and 28 for women.
But what do young people actually believe about marriage itself? Two statistics in particular from Barna’s new study, “The State of Today’s Family,” stand out. First, just 67% of Gen Z respondents believe marriage is essential for raising children in a stable environment. This is the lowest percentage for any generation.
And 74% said they believe they can lead fulfilling lives without children. While this latter statistic is certainly true, as it’s possible to enjoy life and find fulfillment without having children, the sheer volume of Gen Z agreeing with this sentiment is troubling.
Some of the factors underpinning these numbers showcase fractures and issues in society and culture that seem to be causing anxiety and worry among Gen Z — emotions that are making these young people less likely to see the value of marrying young and child-rearing.
See, it’s not necessarily that young Americans don’t want or value marriage. According to Barna, 78% of Gen Z and 73% of millennials desire to get married someday; they’re just taking longer to walk down the aisle.
So, what’s driving the slower move toward marriage? Barna offers some data-driven theories.
“Rather than moving quickly toward marriage, many seem to be placing greater weight on emotional readiness, financial stability and the long-term viability of a relationship before deciding to marry,” the organization explained. “Based on Barna’s broader research on Gen Z, young adults today report high levels of anxiety, uncertainty and emotional complexity in their daily lives — factors that may shape how they approach long-term decisions like marriage.”
These fears and anxieties are unfortunate, though not shocking, given the costs of basic needs such as housing, food and other essentials. Add in education loans and the pressures that come with simply making it in a chaotic culture, and it’s unsurprising so many younger people feel such intense pressure.
This dynamic, in turn, makes a commitment such as marriage harder to fathom for some or, at the least, more of a distant goal achievable once emotions and circumstances temper.
While this is understandable — and even fixable as economic factors and social structures ease — the more troubling pattern surrounds Gen Z’s perspective on child-rearing. With just 67% agreeing that “marriage is important for raising children,” it seems there’s an erosion with which we must contend.
Not only is this the lowest percentage for any generation, but, according to Barna, it “signals a growing openness to different family structures and a loosening of the once-assumed link between marriage and parenting.”
And let’s not forget the 74% who believe they’ll find fulfillment without children. Parenting is deeply enriching and teaches people a great deal about themselves — and life. For Gen Z, as Barna noted, marriage is “no longer seen as the defining framework for family life in the way it once was.”
So what does all this mean? In some ways, we’re exploring the implications in real time. For one, the delay in marriage entails costs and benefits.
While marrying young is an incredible way to explore how to die to self and live for others during a formative time in our lives, there’s also something to be said for making sure we are economically and emotionally ready to take on such a massive responsibility.
Consider that Barna found 42% of millennials are now married and have just a 5% divorce rate. This is the lowest for any generation being tracked, prompting some to wonder whether the delay in marriage can yield more positive outcomes.
Regardless, culture more broadly must take a deeper look at the pressures that are delaying marriage to identify where policies and structural changes can help relieve unneeded burdens. Churches and faith leaders also must take an active role.
Younger generations are spending more time living single before finding a permanent partner. These institutions should intentionally pour into these people to help them form the emotional capabilities and skills needed — the selflessness, love of God and understanding of family structures — to create and foster positive and fulfilling marriages.
And churches should find ways to drive home the importance of a selflessness that sees children not as a burden but as a heritage that helps strengthen individuals, families and culture. The future state of our families — and nation — depends on it.
• Billy Hallowell is a digital TV host and interviewer for Faithwire and CBN News and the co-host of CBN’s “Quick Start Podcast.” Mr. Hallowell is also the author of four books.
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