- Al Sharpton, Trayvon Martin’s parents rally against Fla. ‘stand your ground’ law
- Hillary Clinton campaign got illicit funds from D.C. scandal figure
- Obama administration backs off plan to cut prescription-drug program
- Tickets linked to stolen passports purchased by Iranian middleman
- More than 3,500 police planned for Boston Marathon
- Ottawa day care suspends 2-year-old for ‘outside’ cheese sandwich
- Liam Neeson tells NYC mayor to ‘man up’ in horse carriage fight
- Real-life Dr. Doolittle to reveal how to talk to animals
- Climate change could bring back smallpox, researchers say
- Shoe-bomb witness to speak from London at N.Y. trial
Zadzooks: God of War: Ascension review
Bald, brooding brute Kratos returns to take revenge, so what else is new?
It’s eight players in teams or against each other, as gladiatorial slaves to the gods, battling to become champions. Align with Ares, Hades, Zeus or Poseidon to tap into each deity’s powers, dress up your champion (with traditional armor, garb and weapons from the time period) and jump into the arenas.
Now perform the Hulk smash with a controlled button mash on opponents while collecting riches, finding weapons, setting traps and accumulating favor points to succeed. It’s the Spartacus Super Smash Bros.
For the best modes of the bunch, try the death matches Favour of the Gods and Match of Champions, or Trial of the Gods, a timed cooperative struggle against waves of creatures.
Best part of the multiplayer maps is a massive Cyclops oversees the proceedings in the Desert of Lost Souls presenting a nightmare for combatants that even the great Oracle could not have foretold.
Parental advice: The ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board), after watching Kratos split open the skull of an Elephantaur and watch its exposed brain undulate, decided to label this game “M” and that stands for mature — adults 17 years and older need only try to control a Spartan in God of War: Ascension. So don’t let your 14–year-old convince you that “it’s like ‘Wrath of the Titans,’ and yeah Dad, you get to learn about some cool creatures from multicultural mythology. It’s really educational.” The game highlights a topless, always bloodied Kratos, occasional topless females and plenty of topless creatures (as in missing heads) in a swirling journey of eviscerations barely digestible for a sane 49-year-old.
© Copyright 2014 The Washington Times, LLC. Click here for reprint permission.
About the Author
A graduate of Northwestern University with a degree in communications, Joseph Szadkowski has written about popular culture for The Washington Times for the past 17 years. He covers video games, comic books, new media and technology.
- ZADZOOKS: Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze review
- ZADZOOKS: The Last of Us: Left Behind review
- ZADZOOKS: The Lego Movie Videogame review
- Zadzooks: Justice League: War review (Blu-ray)
- ZADZOOKS: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII review
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