The Washington Times - August 16, 2008, 02:24AM

By P. Jeffrey Black

Who could forget the debonair British spy John Steed from the 60’s television series The Avengers.  And I’m sure you remember his beautiful uber-leatherette partner Emma Peel.

If you don’t remember the TV series, just imagine a James Bond type British aristocrat teaming up with Barbarella, and you’ll have a pretty good idea what this show was about.

You can see The Avengers opening credits here.  

Even after 40 years, this is still a cult classic among favorite opening credits for a television series, being second only to Miami Vice of course.

So what was Mr. Steed’s claim to fame? 


Well he could skillfully handle an umbrella with such finesse — and lethality — regularly causing his adversaries to run off crying U.N.C.L.E.

Steed didn’t need any fancy gun to get the job done, since he always had a few tricks up his sleeve — or rather up his umbrella. It was always a delight to see how Steed would confront the dastardly doers of the world, with only his trusted canopy of cloth on a folding metal frame and rod.

Oh, the good old days of the 60’s Spy-fi adventures and gadgetry.

Well it now appears there is a real modern day Mr. Steed, who prides himself in designing an umbrella he can beat the living daylights out of you with.

His name is Tom Kurz, and he advertises The Unbreakable Umbrella on his website.  He claims that his umbrella “whacks just as strong as a steel pipe.”  

Sounds like something John Steed would have thoroughly enjoyed hanging on his arm while romping through the UK underworld.  But what about taking this spy-gadget umbrella weapon on an airplane today? 

Do you think its possible to get such a weapon through TSA security? 

As far as Mr. Kurz is concerned, its not only possible, he actually brags about doing so in his advertisements.



In fact, Mr. Kurz even has a picture of himself proudly boarding  a passenger aircraft with his skull crushing umbrella swung over his shoulder.

Its comforting to know that while TSA is taking away your Kubaton keychains, snow globes, gel shoe inserts, and nipple rings, they are allowing Mr. Kurz to board with his steel pipe “defense” umbrella.

Its not like any bad guys could actually order the umbrella online, take it on an airplane, cause a decoy disturbance in the back of the plane, walk up behind the responding Federal Air Marshal  –– and knock him into next week –– then take his gun.  Right?

I can only imagine the thought process that will be going through those aviation security “expert” minds at TSA over this delemma.  Is this umbrella an attack weapon that can coincidently be used to shield you from rain drops?  Or is this a harmless umbrella that can be used as a politically correct defensive weapon? Decisions. Decisions.

My only fear is that after reading this, TSA will have all umbrellas banned from aircraft, and immediately begin passing out passive pastel-colored complimentary trash bags with head-sized holes cut out in the bottoms for make-shift rain ponchos, with cute little “TSA” emblems on the front.

I’ve always believed that the safest night to go to a baseball game is Bat Night.  Its amazing how polite everyone can be when there are 20,000 people around you holding a miniature Louisville Slugger. So I wouldn’t mind if everybody on the plane was carrying one of these umbrellas, its only when there’s one or two bad guys swinging these things around that concerns me. 

Nevertheless, watch the below video — and you can decide for yourself whether this umbrella should be allowed on passenger planes.