The Washington Times - March 31, 2009, 06:08AM

Britain’s Royal Horticultural Society is planning to test the idea that plants respond to human voices by reading literature to tomatoes, the Times Online is reporting.

Researchers plan to record voices reading Shakespeare and John Wyndham’s “The Day of the Triffids,” play them around-the-clock to tomato plants and measure the results.


Reading literature to plants is a lot like “Activity Day” at a school in my old neighborhood.  Basically the same result — bored vegetables.

I think these researchers are coddling the tomatoes.  They really should help them learn to read for themselves.

The researchers don’t know what to expect, but they insist on reading “The Day of the Triffids” to the plants.  “Triffids” is a post-apocalyptic novel about man-eating plants that can walk around and kill their prey with whip-like vines.  Do they really want to put those kinds of ideas into tomatoes’ heads?

I just hope the researchers don’t let the tomatoes know that we eat them.  That could be awkward.