The Washington Times - May 8, 2009, 01:52PM

Spock: “I’m a Vulcan, not a freakin’ elf.”

Aragorn: “You look like an elf to me.”




Star Trek advice No. 3: When in doubt, always blame it on a transporter malfunction.



Little-known Star Trek fact: The “sub-Prime Directive” prompted the foreclosure of Star Fleet Academy.



Star Trek advice No. 31: If you’re assigned to an Away Team and nobody knows your name, notify your next of kin immediately. You’re not coming home.



Little known Star Trek fact: The trouble with tribbles is that, when they grow up, they become Ewoks.



Star Trek adage No. 163: Anti-matter ain’t what it used to be.



Have you noticed there are no toilets in Star Trek? Makes me wonder what’s going on in those jumpsuits.



Basic Star Trek rules: Keep your phaser on “stun” and your communicator on “vibrate.”



In the original Star Trek series, Capt. Kirk had a great attitude about alien life — screw it or kill it … sometimes both.



Star Trek advice No. 157: When a cop pulls you over and asks if you know how fast you were going, don’t say “Warp 10.”



To all you Star Trek fans: Live long and prosper. And keep your friends close, but your Klingons closer.