A cleverly sardonic, slickly misleading impeachment line makes fun of how former Ambassador to the U.N. Nikki Haley exploded the Democrats’ impeachment rationale.
Originally posted on social media and undoubtedly making its way around America’s dimly lit dump-Trump circles, the line goes this way:
“True. Nikki Haley’s take on a recent robbery in Albany is that the robbers panicked and fled before the teller could hand over the bag full of money. The bank still has the money, so the case is closed.”
The panicky-robber line parodies Ms. Haley’s take on the Democrats’ long, grueling, stumbling, meandering march to the promised land of impeachment.
The direction of the Dems’ march is no longer toward proving President Trump’s treasonous collusion with Russia! You remember. The one to throw the 2016 election The Donald’s way.
The endless, meandering, Mueller probe wound up proving nothing of the sort.
Yet the government (our government) estimates the investigation cost us between $32 million and $35 million.
Along the way, our government jailed and grabbed the assets of people who had nothing to do with the reason for the Trump-Russia investigation.
How long ago were you thinking this could never happen? Not here. Not in the USA.
Never mind. It did.
Back to Ms. Haley. Her take, you’ll recall, is that Mr. Trump had requested but not demanded that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky find some dirt on former Vice President Joseph R. Biden, a 2020 Democratic front-runner, and his son Hunter.
Mr. Zelensky didn’t comply, but Ukraine got nearly $391 million in U.S. security aid anyway.
So Ms. Haley argued thusly: Aid delivered; case closed.
Let’s acknowledge that the line comparing a failed robbery to the Trump request was a cleverly sarcastic analogy — but not quite apropos.
The put-down of Ms. Haley compared her version of the event to an act that is indeed a statutory crime: attempted robbery.
The facts would seem to point to the conclusion that Mr. Trump’s unrequited request to Ukraine’s leader was improprietous but hardly impeachable.
Unless you are an “oust Trump by hook or crook” type.
Just because you’re reading this doesn’t mean you don’t dream nightly of awaking to happily wave bye-bye to the Trump presidency.
More likely, if you’re Trump-phobic, you’ve already given up on impeaching him for attempting to get a foreign government to intervene in a coming U.S. presidential election
If you’re an “impeach first, ask questions later” Dem, you’re probably practicing a new line: Mr. Trump is guilty of bribery and/or extortion. So impeach him!
Here’s an example of the new line based on a post from a social medium site:
Sam is in a neighbor’s kitchen. A range-top fire is threatening to get out of control. Sam, who for some reason has his fire extinguisher with him, says, “Give me your tickets to the Redskins game on Sunday, and I’ll extinguish the fire.”
That’s extortion, according to the social post, which proclaims, “Guilty. Lock Sam up.”
No, it’s not extortion, not any more than it’s bribery (though why Sam would want seats to a Washington Redskins game is barely fathomable).
Extortion would be Sam threatening to tweet that his neighbor has dubious judgment as evidenced by his ownership of Redskins season tickets.
Bribery would be Sam giving his policeman neighbor five big ones to lie about Sam’s son’s arrest record on the son’s police-force job application.
To sell the silly notion that The Donald attempted to bribe or extort Ukraine’s Mr. Zelensky to get the goods on the Bidens in exchange for aid to Ukraine will require a suspension of disbelief that the American people have shown they aren’t willing to make.
Well, at least Americans not of the Pelosi-Schumer-Biden-Warren-Sanders-Buttigieg persuasion.
You know. The Americans who didn’t suspend their common-sense disbelief by voting for Hillary Clinton and who instead elected America’s first America-First president.