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White House turkey to become whiskey spokesbird?

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Well, at least someone has a job waiting for him.

When President Obama ceremoniously pardons the White House turkey next week, the gobbler has an offer waiting in the wings when the pardoning is done. No, it’s not retiring to a verdant farm or serving as an honorary parade marshal. Wild Turkey, the bourbon maker, is offering the turkey a guaranteed gig as official “spokesbird” for its distillery in Lawrenceburg, Ky.

“In our humble opinion, there is no better place for this year’s presidentially-pardoned bird to live out its golden years than the Wild Turkey Distillery grounds in central Kentucky,” said Jimmy Russell, master distiller. “There really is no bird more undeniably American than the turkey. After all, it was the great Benjamin Franklin who called for it to be named our national bird.”

The company already has sent a personal letter to Mr. Obama with the job offer; a reception committee and proper quarters await the feathered one.

“So, Mr. President, this Thanksgiving, please. Give us the bird,” Mr. Russell said.

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