A selection of my 140-character musings on Twitter (@dandalyonsports) the past seven days – for those of you who don’t follow me (yet).
If ever there was a candidate for anger management, it’s Furious Bradley, who just blocked a punt for a TD for Southern Miss. #CFB
It’s beginning to look like Tiger Woods, when he returns here in July for the AT&T National, might actually resemble Tiger Woods. #PGATour
… This is a relief. Because there have been times in recent years when Tiger has resembled Jerry Lewis in “The Caddy.” #PGATour
… That said, I’d be surprised if this was the last swing change in Tiger’s career. The guy’s just a tinkerer. Never satisfied. #PGATour
With the holiday season approaching, I’d like to declare a moratorium on pederasty scandals in college athletics. #NCAA
Ndamukong Suh crashes car into tree. My only question is: Was the tree inside or outside the pocket? #NFL #Lions
Here’s the adjective I’d apply to RG3: Graceful. Throws gracefully. Moves gracefully. Gregory Hines meets Joe Montana. #Baylor #CFB
Never been harder to look graceful at QB. Defenses blitz from every angle, do exotic things to confuse you. RG3 sees order in chaos. #Baylor
6 GA (2-2-2) in Dale Hunter’s first 3 games is a good place for the #Caps to start, even if they have dropped 2 of those games… .
… Just shows how defensively negligent they were in Boudreau’s final days. Obviously, they can do it if they want to… .
… The question the organization should be asking itself is: Why do we have to fire a coach to get them to want to? #Caps
I always wait until the last minute to cast my #Heisman vote, just in case one of the front-runners gets caught with a sheep. #Baa
Well, it’s Dec. 4, and the #Redskins have yet to have a game day that’s made you say, “Thank God for covered parking.”
The #Redskins, by the way, are playing the #Jets only because the New Jersey Institute of Technology doesn’t have a football team. #Cupcakes
Gano’s FG try clears the defensive line … and then it clears the crossbar! #Redskins 10, #Jets 7.
The reports about #Redskins Trent Williams and Fred Davis being suspended have me wondering about players’ token workouts during lockout.
#Jets run into Rocca. In Aussie Rules Football, there’s a much stiffer penalty than 5 yards. They send the guy to Devil’s Island. #Redskins
Williams and Davis reportedly facing drug suspensions, but it’s Grossman who’s hallucinating. Just threw pass to nobody. Grounding. #Redskins
Guessing the #Redskins band has been told not to play “When the Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” at halftime. #ReportedDrugSuspensions
This #Jets offense just screams Schottenheimer, doesn’t it #Redskins fans? And it takes a long time to scream Schottenheimer.
Grossman so far is 14 for 33, and at least a half-dozen of them qualify as Unidentified Flying Objects. #Redskins
Did you notice Schwartz didn’t cause a scene tonite when he went out for the post-game shake? Payton was armed with crutches. #Saints #Lions
The harder #Caps’ new conference, the better, as far as I’m concerned. Whatever it takes to keep their minds from wandering. #NHL
… It’s really a shame, though, that we won’t be able to stoke the flames of that burgeoning Washington-Winnipeg rivalry. #Caps #Jets
Not only do I think the #Packers are going to run the table, I’m also investing heavily in cheese futures. #NFL #DownWithPorkBellies
By the time he’s done, Rodgers lasting until 24th pick in ’05 will be a bigger travesty than Marino lasting until 27th in ’83. #Packers
The #Redskins, you may recall, had the 28th pick in ’83. Bobby Beathard, their general manager, loved to joke about that. He’d say …
… “I’m the only GM in the league who doesn’t have to apologize for not taking Marino.” Bobby “settled” for Darrell Green at 28. #Redskins
Something else that’s funny: The #Redskins also had the next pick in ’05 after Rodgers went off the board. Ended up taking Jason Campbell.
… Of course, the #Redskins could have opted for Rodgers with 9th pick, which they also had. Instead: Carlos Rogers (pre-contact lenses).
Boy, that ’05 draft wasn’t very good. The Top 10 picks have been to only 4 Pro Bowls combined. And making the PB has never been easier. #NFL
Somebody else who was in that ’05 draft: Jammal Brown (13th, Saints). Yes, the #Redskins’ RT went 11 picks before Aaron Rodgers. #Packers
Well, it’s official. Fred Davis and Trent Williams are now eligible for the Highsman Trophy. #Redskins #NFL
“Suspended without pay,” by the way, means: Will have to find something else to roll up joints with. #Redskins #NFL
In the Year of Tebow, maybe the #Redskins — minus Davis and Williams — should consider punting on 1st down, last fashionable in the ’40s.
This gives the #Redskins 3 drug-suspended players this season, Phillip Buchanon being the other. The only thing they’re leading the #NFL in?
Drug suspensions in the #NFL should be like red cards in soccer. Your offense or defense should have to play a man short. #Redskins
One of the reasons I propose that is because Tony Dorsett’s record 99-yard run from scrimmage was accomplished with only 10 men. #Redskins
Another of the reasons I propose that is that the #Redskins are 4-8 this season using 11 men. Less might be more.
Tim McCarver has won the Frick Award. Sounds like something you’d give Bruce Boudreau if he ever cleaned up his language. #Caps
If Sergei Gonchar can contrive a way to play two more seasons, he’ll have lasted as long in the #NHL as Dale Hunter (19). #Caps #Senators
Every time Ovechkin scores now, you wonder: Is this going to be the goal that awakens the Russian bear from his slumber? #Caps #Senators
Hope this pitcher being eyed by the #Nats — Yu Darvish — has an exotic delivery. Then I can refer to him as a Whirling Darvish. #MLB
Caron Butler, who has averaged 65 games a season in his 9-year #NBA career, is still an $8 million-a-year player? Life is good. #Wizards
#Giants’ Justin Tuck on the #Cowboys: “They hate us and we hate them.” It’s like the opposite of the Barney song. #NFL #PurpleDinosaurs
Fenway Park turns 100 in April. At least, they think it’s 100. They’re still waiting for the carbon-dating results. #MLB #RedSox
Fenway opened the same week the Titanic sank. For the 100th anniversary, the #RedSox should get Celine Dion to sing the national anthem.
I think I know why the #RedSox have been so quiet in free agency: Ben Affleck and his crew took them for a ton of dough in “The Town.” #MLB
The #RedSox, by the way, have come out with a book: “Fenway Park: 100 Years.” That’s how long Dice-K takes between pitches. #MLB
Didn’t know this until just now: Aaron Hernandez, the #Patriots’ fine TE, grew up in Bristol, CT (home of ESPN) and committed …#Redskins
… to play for Randy Edsall at UConn (like his brother had). But he changed his mind and went to Florida instead. #Redskins #Terps
Will never understand why #NFL teams wear throwback uniforms that remind everybody of an era they don’t have any nostalgia for. #Steelers
The real reason the #NBA nixed the Chris Paul trade: The #Lakers refused to include a Kardashian to be named later. #Hornets
Tell me: If the #NBA hadn’t blocked this deal, would the #Lakers, under the new CBA, have been allowed to rob Peter to pay Paul? #Hornets
This Chris Paul situation reminds me of Bowie Kuhn stepping in in 1976 when Charley Finley tried to gut the #A’s… . #Hornets #Lakers
… Charley wanted to sell Vida Blue to the #Yankees and Rollie Fingers and Joe Rudi to the #RedSox for a few mil… . #Hornets #Lakers
… Commissioner Kuhn invoked the “best interests of baseball” clause and stopped him… . #Hornets #Lakers
… Fingers and Rudi later left in free agency. Blue was traded (acceptably) to the #Giants. Finley lost lawsuit. #Hornets #Lakers
I would have invalidated the Paul trade by invoking the One Ridiculous Trade A Decade Clause. Pau Gasol (2008) was the #Lakers’. #Hornets
Love the #NBA’s amnesty clause (see: #Magic dumping Arenas). If real life was like that, we’d all have perfect credit ratings. #Wizards
In addition to an amnesty clause, Real Life should also have an amnesia clause, as in: “I don’t remember buying that.” #NBA #Wizards
#USC QB Matt Barkley says, “I really am torn” about turning pro. He should do it before he’s really, REALLY torn — in the knee area. #CFB
Good thing Dan Snyder doesn’t own the #Lakers. If somebody prevented Dan from trading for Chris Paul, he’d probably sign RuPaul. #Redskins
I keep waiting for the #NFL to add a new line to the record book: Most Concussions Induced. James Harrison has gotta rank way up there.
In fact, Harrison is so dangerous, he should probably come equipped with an airbag. #NFL