The Washington Times - December 3, 2008, 08:43AM

Mothers today are more likely to lull their babes to sleep with a modern song than a traditional lullaby, the BBC is reporting.

I can believe that. About 30 seconds into James Blunt‘s “You’re Beautiful,” I’m yawning and looking for my blankey.


It kind of makes sense, because who nowadays can really relate to those old lullabies?

Rock-a-by baby in the tree top. Why is there a baby in a cradle at the top of a tree? Who did that?

Sleep, baby, sleep. Your father tends the sheep. You’re telling me my dad’s a shepherd? Is that a growth profession?

Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. I know what you are — a large ball of hydrogen undergoing nuclear fusion. Next!

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. Hey, Einstein! I’m a BABY! I’m not going to say a word because I haven’t developed the neural network for speech yet! And why the hell is my father going to buy me a mockingbird? Does he really expect me to play with it? Or even feed it? I’m a BABY, for crying out loud!