The Washington Times - August 12, 2009, 07:44AM

French public pools require male swimmers to wear tight and tiny Speedo swimsuits — no matter how they look in them, the Guardian is reporting.

The French consider Speedos to be more hygienic than baggy swimsuits because Speedos can’t be worn as shorts anywhere else and collect sand, dust or other matter.


The French force men to wear Speedos in public pools? What, have the French suddenly gone blind? There are Olympic swimmers who don’t look good in Speedos!

Speedos put a man’s “attributes” on display — and not in a good way. It’s not like a tray of snacks. It’s more like the bag of giblets you pull out of a Butterball turkey.

Nothing says “I don’t care” like a pair of Speedos.

What’s more, Speedos are the most uncomfortable piece of clothing a man will ever wear. They raise your voice by an octave and a half. The CIA even used Speedos as part of its enhanced interrorgation techniques. (“Put these on. You’ll tell us everything.”)

Psychiatrists should use Speedos to gauge men’s self awareness: If they think they good in them, then they’re obviously nuts.