The Washington Times - March 5, 2009, 11:13AM

A British survey has found that two-thirds of its respondents lie about having read high-brow books like “War and Peace” and “1984” in order to appear more intelligent and sexier than they really are, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.

Besides Leo Tolstoy’s epic “War and Peace” and George Orwell’s political nightmare “1984,” others books people fib about having read include the Bible, Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time,” Gustave Flabert’s novel “Madame Bovary” and Marcel Proust’s memory log “Remembrance of Things Past.”

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People also tended to bluff about having read Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and the Bronte sisters.

Most people would rather read something by J.K. Rowling or John Grisham, the survey found.

I’ve tried to read to “War and Peace” — on three separate occasions.  It’s way over 1,000 pages — and that’s just the Cliff Notes!  I gave up and decided to wait for the movie.  Then I found out the movie version is eight hours long!  Who was this Tolstoy guy?  I’ll tell you — a guy with way too much time on his hands.

I haven’t read “Remembrance of Things Past,” but I hear it’s a seven-volume story about some French guy’s memory of a cookie.  That must have been one good cookie.

I’ve actually read “A Brief History of Time.”  Didn’t understand it.  But I read it.

I’ve read “1984,” but I think I missed the point.  I was rooting for Big Brother.  He always seemed to know what was going on.  I’m waiting for the sequel, “2004.”  I’ve heard good things about it.