The Washington Times - October 26, 2009, 05:03PM

One disgruntled Redskins fan made up a memorial service pamphlet for the team.

The cover features the Native American logo crying and reads:


Memorial Service

Washington  Deadskins, Sunrise: 1932 — Sunset: 2009.

On Page 2, the obituary says the franchise passed away in October 2009 following a 10-year illness inflicted upon it by team owner Daniel M. Snyder and pseudo-general manager Vinny Cerrato. After several false alarms and faint glimmers of playoff hope, the once-proud franchise developed a fatal aversion to the end zone and succumbed in a slow, painful death. The teams leaves behind thousands of disgruntled fans, angry tailgaters and despondent season ticket holders, as well as tons of unsold Deadskins merchandise, one puzzled quarterback and an emasculated head coach.

On Page 3 comes the Order of Service which includes the hymn “Amazing Disgrace” and includes a torch and pitchfork march to the homes of Snyder and Cerrato. The repast is Johnny Rocket’s overpriced burgers and shakes.

The rear cover rewrites Hail To The Redskins as Hail To the Deadskins with these lyrics:

Hail to the Deadskins

No victory

We can’t score touchdowns

We just take the three!


Run or pass and score, we need a lot more

Portis doesn’t practice ‘cause his foot’s sore

Gripe on, gripe on ‘til Vin-ny’s gone

Shame in Wash-ing-ton

Boo, Boo, Boo!

Hail to the Deadskins

No victory

Let’s grab Dan Synder

Hang him from a tree!

— David Elfin