OPINION:
Fred Rogers was famous for asking the children watching his PBS program, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”
Now, according to a Wall Street Journal piece by Rachel Wolfe titled “Adult Friendship Is Hard. So People Are Turning to Classified Ads” — published in January 2025 — American adults, desperate for human connection in an increasingly virtual world, are placing classified ads that ask, “Won’t you be my friend?”
People taking out these ads list their interests, schedules and types of nonsexual companionship they are seeking in hopes that someone will respond expressing interest. It is a new form of the old-time personal ads — “Mid-30s man looking for companionship with attractive mid-30s woman” — applied to friendship rather than potential romance.
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Society was already trending this way in the internet age, but the COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the process of detaching people from the places where they would normally meet others and form friendships, such as workplaces, churches, school events and civic groups.
The American Time Use Survey showed that time with friends decreased from 60 minutes per day in 2003 to just 34 minutes in 2019, the year before the pandemic. By 2020, that figure dropped further to just 20 minutes per day.
The result is that although people may still talk to one another, it is often via a video screen rather than in person. Face-to-face interactions foster deeper connection.
This increased isolation has hampered our ability to meet and make friends with people who may have differing perspectives, and to get to know them as people rather than as political opponents.
It is happening to the younger generation too. Middle schoolers, as reported a few weeks ago by The Wall Street Journal, are turning more to internet chatbots for companionship than to peers, and they feel even lonelier as a result.
Other studies show that rising dissatisfaction among young adults with dating apps has led to a “dating recession,” as dating has become a consumer-driven activity focused on the superficial rather than a means of developing a deeper relational connection that may lead to marriage someday.
The technology thought to bring the world together is tearing it apart.
More adults are living alone, so there is no human connection even inside their homes. In his book “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection,” University of Chicago professor John Cacioppo wrote that the negative health risks of loneliness are as damaging as those of obesity or smoking.
One of the main reasons people are living alone is the continued breakdown of the family, as well as ever-increasing percentages of people who are either divorced or have never married. This denies humans the close bonds they can form with family members.
Replacing in-person church attendance with “virtual” worship does not allow for the personal connections that occur during Sunday services or small groups during the week.
Without the meaning that comes with personal relationships, we often turn to isolation and anger. If we are going to have a happier, more satisfied, more united nation, we must start with the meaningful connections made through the unique bond of marriage and parenthood.
Happier people are more satisfied, and satisfied people are more content and caring citizens.
I am, however, skeptical that taking out classified ads is the solution to this problem. The ads may create short-term connections but not long-term relationships. Here is what will solve this problem: a return to the institutions and activities I mentioned earlier that provide common ground for people to meet and become lifelong friends or even marriage partners.
So instead of taking out ads, we should leave our computer screens and return to our churches and civic groups. If you are married with children, get to know other parents.
The result will be better for your mental health and our overall society, as Americans start talking to one another again and forming bonds that remain strong through thick and thin — bonds stronger than anything a classified ad can produce.
• Timothy S. Goeglein is the vice president of government and external relations at Focus on the Family and the co-author of a new book, “What Really Matters: Restoring a Legacy of Faith, Freedom, and Family” (Fidelis, 2026).
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