The Washington Times - November 29, 2007, 04:59PM

That squirrely hater punk Ahmadenijad says our peace summit in Annapolis is a complete failure, and to that we say: Shut your cakehole, shorty, and get a better suit.\ \ \ Speaking of the summit: did they feed everyone some delicious crab cakes from G&M? If not, they should’ve. The best EVER.\ \ \ We love all animals, particularly rodents, and once joined PETA (we quit because their magazine was just too gross). But we do confess we kinda dig Madonna’s pink sheep. Maybe we could get the genetic folks to clone ‘em pink. No, we don’t approve of spray painting animals for any reasons, not even horses turned into zebras. We just enjoy the color pink ever so. We have a hot pink Christmas sweater with a lime green tree, too. SO kitsch.\ \ \ We have been out occasionally on the presidential campaign trail with Photographer of the Year and Nicole Kidman lookalike Mary Calvert, a talented lass and dining conspirator extraordinaire. We have dubbed our election cycle reporting — with the help of our personal PR goddess to the Stars, Penny Lane — the Hubris n’ Hairspray Tour. Yes, we have t-shirts. Highly coveted. No, we did not print tour thongs… but we did consider it.\ \ \ Except for the crunchy granola clothes, we love that Sundance catalog a lot. Fun jewelry. Lots of good gifts here.\ \ \ They should have a Santa for grown-ups at Williams Sonoma. You sit down, tell him how much you’d enjoy a case of French bordeaux, confide how much the kids are hacking you off, how much you despise your boss, your commute, the pesky neighbors, and he sends you away with a wink and a nod and a hunk of manchego cheese, a couple of stuffed olives and an icy martini. Ho-ho-ho.\ \ \ We understand that our Kid Rock wants to cut his hair and we’d like to state for the record that we love him just like he is — kinda dirty-looking. If he cuts his hair, he might end up looking like David Lee Roth, the Van Halen frontman, who can still belt but who sorta looks like someone’s dad. Speaking of rock stars, we saw our future husband Dave Navarro on the Donny Deutsch show — one of our fave chat programs EVER — and delicious Dave seemed so sweet and grounded and happy. All of his piercings and tats were covered up, too. AS IF. Those are our favorites. BTW: We\0x2019d love to have dinner with Donnie Deutsch. We can dig his NYC adman energy.\ \ \ Where is Mrs. Mayor Rudy and why ain’t she on the campaign trail? We’re just askin’.\ Maybe she is and we’ve missed her. We must find out.\ \ \ RIP Robert Cade, the dude who invented Gatorade. He was a Florida Gator. Speaking of which… Tim Tebow for the Heisman. He’s only a sophomore but totally deserving.\ \ \ — Andrea Billups, The Washington Times