The Washington Times - October 24, 2007, 02:46PM
hitting the skids
•••\ Hey: a big blue ribbon and and Miss Andrea kiss to the first candidate to throw some of that big money he’s got stockpiled for ‘08 at the soon-to-be-organized fire relief fund.\
•••\ In other fire news: Mebbe George Clooney will organize another concert — for Cali. Just like he did for those tsunami folks. Stay tuned. Kanye West should headline, since he’s angry that MTV let Britney step on his groove at the VMAs.\
•••\ We have caught some recent pix of Paris Hilton, traveling abroad to promote stuff — whatever that means —and she sure is bulking up. Perhaps it was the prison life that got to her, a reformed con. Look at the photos. Too many In & Out Burgers? One too many Burrito Supremes at Taco Bell? Wait — it’s the ubiquitous “thyroid” problems or hormonal issues or … too many calories. And we thought she was skinny untouchable. (Or, could she be preggers like galpal Nicole? We know she was always jealous of the little squirt who should be just about at a normal body weight at nine months, we think.)\
•••\ Just in time for Christmas (we can still say ‘Christmas,’ right, or will the PC police show up soon? Memo to self: reload Glock now.):\
•••\ U.S. Senate candidate Al Franken (just typing that scares us only slightly less than the words U.S. Senate candidate Alec Baldwin) has walked a “day in the shoes” of a nurses’ aide as part of a “nationwide program to make sure politicians understand firsthand what life is like for working people.” AS IF. Aren’t all politicians lawyers, or preachers or car dealers? We thought so.\
•••\ The new Spice Girls single has been released on Just fyi. We know how many of you District-ites are DYING for this news. \
•••\ Charlie Crist for vice president. We are beginning the campaign now, but he must promise to dye those eyebrows a bit to match his gray hair. They are ever so dark and it’s bugging us. \
•••\ We made fun of Rep. Connie Mack (the little one, not the dad one) for supporting Mittens for president, but we will give him this: he looked and sounded super great on the Fox News pre-show with Sean Hannity before Sunday’s Republican presidential debate. He certainly stuck to his talking points well, and we thought he looked nice. That Mary Bono has excellent taste. We wonder when this wedding will take place. We’d like to send a gift because they look ever so cute together. They are kinda like the only two truly attractive folks in Congress. We are glad they connected. We thought the Big Connie was an excellent senator, too.\
•••\ Dear Osama: WHATEVER on your new tape. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz …test pattern … ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz.\

\ Andrea Billups, The Washington Times