The Washington Times - September 23, 2008, 12:06PM

Do you have weight and occupy a certain amount of space?

Do you breathe air on a regular basis?

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Do you use or refer to money in any way each week?

Do you have spouses, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors, teachers, students, bosses, coworkers, advisers, servants, contractors, bookies, stalkers or other tax deductions?

Do you age? Or vote?

If you can answer yes to any of the above questions, then you are a special interest and you are what’s wrong with this country.

You with your wanting good schools, safe roads, decent workplaces and retirement benefits … who do you think you are? Do you have any idea how much all of that costs? It’s got to be a few million dollars. Do you think money grows on trees?

Now take your special interests — and the lobbyists who work for them — and get out of here! I’ve got an insurance company to bail out.