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Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant is a senior editor at The Washington Times, where he oversees the National and Metropolitan desks. He also serves as the newsroom's internship coordinator. He has served as an assistant managing editor; a National, Metropolitan and Features desk editor; an assistant National desk editor; and a reporter on the National and Metro desks.

Articles by Carleton Bryant

OUT OF CONTEXT: Don’t pay attention to anything I say. I sure don’t.

The one thing to remember when cutting your own hair is that every mistake can be covered up — by shaving your head.

September 6, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I’m back in the saddle again, but I’ve lost my horse

The good news is that movie producers want to make a film about Susan Boyle's life and her overnight stardom. The bad news is they want Robin Williams to play her.

August 30, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: If you’re in the middle of nowhere, we’re practically neighbors

I live in a small "town" in Anne Arundel County, Md., called Pasadena. Don't be surprised if you haven't heard of it. A lot of the people who live here haven't heard of it either.

August 9, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: People who live in glass houses should get dressed quickly

There was a report out last week that researchers have duplicated parts of a rat brain from lab data and say that a functioning artificial brain could be built within 10 years. And to think that the Scarecrow settled for a diploma.

August 2, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: This headline has been recycled to combat global yawning

With all this debate over how to kill a lobster, I'm glad that I don't have to resolve any ethical concerns about my favorite food.

July 26, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I’m living proof that less is more. Or less.

If you have a dog, you have a friend for life. If you have a cat, you have a haughty, annoying fur ball that orders you around and looks at you as if you're wearing a clown suit at a wedding.

July 19, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Life’s a balancing act, and I have an inner ear problem

Last Saturday, my son bought a "long board," or, as I like to say, "an accident waiting to happen."

July 12, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: If you look closely at my picture, you’ll see my eyes are following you

A new study shows that lions form prides to defend their turf against other lions, not to hunt more efficiently. Who knew lions were so gangsta?

July 5, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I do have moments of lucidity, just not that often

It's bad enough when you hurt yourself playing a real sport. But when you hurt yourself with a remote-control device, you've really got problems.

June 28, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Random thoughts … in alphabetical order

My family will provide me special treatment this Father's Day — a full day of allowing me complete and total control of the TV remote. Ah, bliss!

June 21, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Once more, this time with feeling

Sen. Chuck Grassley chastised President Obama on Twitter. What was most surprising to a lot of people about Grassley's messages is that he has a Twitter account.

June 14, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Didn’t Olivia Newton-John sing ‘Let’s get political?’

So I guess Sen. Roland Burris has got some explaining to do, huh?

May 31, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: I aim to move you — physically, if necessary.

Are deceased persons who receive stimulus checks properly known as the grateful dead?

May 24, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: You’re right, I don’t get out much. How’d you know?

I went to a fancy party in New York the other night, and all I got was a head-butt from Kiefer Sutherland. … It was awesome!

May 17, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: This is for all you mothers out there — you know who you are

The nickname "OctoMom" sounds like she should have eight legs and squirt ink. If only that had been her claim to fame.

May 10, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Just a little too much information, for my taste

Scientists have created a spider web so strong that it can bind a man indefinitely. Now, they're trying to make a chicken egg so strong that it can't be broken. That's useful.

May 3, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Don’t talk about the weather. Do something about it!

A little-known fact of life: Everything is better with bacon. Try it.

April 26, 2009

OUT OF CONTEXT: Another day, another dollar (or 37.69 cents after taxes)

I read last week that Guinness is readying a new beer for its 250th anniversary. For those of you who know me, beer-related news is usually good news.

April 19, 2009