The Washington Times - September 6, 2007, 10:11AM
  • And so Fred Thompson is hitting the gym to get ready for the campaign trail, we hear. \ \ \ While we applaud his health consciousness and even though a lot of conservatives dig him, he still reminds us of a big angry bloodhound. \ \ \ We hate to be critical … wait, no we don’t. We love it. \ \ \ So … might we suggest an eye job. Nothing personal (we are SO ready ourselves). It’s cheap, doesn’t hurt much, a couple of weeks downtime and some Dermablend and you’re good to go. \ \ \ Here’s a freebie: Drs. Monte O. Harris and Eliot F. Battle, who run a swingin’ medical spa up in Chevy Chase. Give those fabulous men a call, sir, and tell them Miss Andrea sent you. You’ll be glad you did.\ \ \
  • Hurricanes are a lot better on the news when they wipe out populated areas. \ \ \ These last two, while Category 5, have been mega-anticlimactic because they hit some Third World coast. AS IF. We need wall-to-wall CNN video and some stellar Jim Cantore on the Weather Channel to make our storm coverage enjoyable. \ \ \ With those biceps, Mr. Cantore makes televised devastation so much hotter. Loving the guns, weatherboy. Loving the guns.\ \ \

  • From the Duh News files: Men like women who are hot; women are looking for more than just a nice guy. How much did that THAT survey cost? \ \ \
  • Dear John Edwards: \ \ \ We think you are attractive, in that Southern dude who owns a bunch of car dealerships sort of way … and yet this medical deal where we all hafta go to the doctor … honey, that’s socialism, dontchathink? \ \ \ What if we made all guys who had totally unfortunate hair get a better stylist? See … not very fun, is it?\ \ \ Big biscuits and happy campaigning,\ \ \ — Andrea Billups, national political reporter, The Washington Times